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i check this thing like once a year lol [21 Sep 2008|10:43pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | bob marley ] so im restless. not tired. prolly not gonna be tired for a while. i was sitting by the computer and started to write a song. havent written lyrics in a long time. and for once ive kinda got a tune that im singing the lyrics in, and thats a plus for me. usually the words come out but no style or beat...so when i actually have some potential for a real song...i have no instrumental talent to back it up. i need an acoustic guitar player. someone that i would feel comfortable singing in front of, because that is my hugest problem. singing is my passion but my biggest insecurity...cant sing for no one!! lol. im weird. and im rambling. to keep with the theme of rambling...i dont know whats going on with me and jeremy at this point... i wrote him a long email just kinda pinpointing out some of my frusterations, but also backing those up with some of the things i love about him. he came over last night, which went well. (thats a first). we didn't argue (much), we just got along. didnt talk about bullshit (much)...and he held me. and it felt good. boy did it feel good. i think me and him have just been put thru so many tests thruout our "relationship" and we never got a proper chance to just start off on the right foot and get to experience the "new relationship butterflies". weve gone thru a lot...blah. since january he has taken over my mind, and its no fair. enough about him...works ok. going to school to get certified as an activities director in a skilled nursing facility. which will be cool, ill be happy to at least have some kinda skill under my belt. some kind of title. well...i would keep rambling but its time to smoke a bleezy. peace out. (.smoke weed.) (.everyday.) Lie to me

<3<3<3<3 [19 Jan 2008|12:51pm] i haven't felt this way since i was like 15. he's got me weak in the knees. :) 2 Told me I'm beautiful + Lie to me

and now is the beginning of a new year... [27 Dec 2007|01:26am] [ mood | hopeful ] ...everyone hypes up the new year like we all just magically get to start fresh and have a clean slate just because its the first of january. and ive never bought that shit...to me, new years meant partying and making some bullshit new years resolution every year to either be skinnier or be nicer lol. and neither of them ever worked out haha. when january rolls around i will still have debt, i will still be broke, still be single, and still be laaaaaame lol. but im going to use this whole "new year" concept to better myself. i feel like in the past year i have changed soooooo much. i did a complete 180. for the better. for the most part, i like myself...and for once i really can say i respect myself. but WAIT!...:) There's always room for improvement. in bettering myself, i lost a lot of friends...which is okay, because losing them was part of bettering myself. soooo one of my missions is to a. rekindle friendships that just kind of faded that meant a lot to me b. make many new friends and have a fresh start with at least one new group of friends. in the next year i will go to school and become certified to be an activities director at the convalescent home that i am currently working at. and that excites the shit out of me..i found a carreer that makes me happy. who knows 10 years from now, but now all i can see is being in the field im in. since i have my liscence now, YES, i know its fucking late...but thats been a personal battle with myself for years, too much to explain...I HAVVVVVE to get myself a car. which is hard when ur almost living paycheck to paycheck to pay so many bills. theres more i want to do this year, but...my brain is getting tired from rambling lol...so ima cut it off now... but yes, although this year wont be a fresh start in reality... emotionally, im gonna get in a fresh MINDSET, and kick this years ass :) amen. Lie to me

candy kisses [06 Sep 2007|12:34am] my man :) mine mine mine 4 Told me I'm beautiful + Lie to me

candy kisses... [17 Aug 2007|10:18am] ...all over me he finally did it. he asked me to be his. :) i said yes. it's official, he's my boyfriend. yayayayayayayay!!! jonathan+Veronica=boyfriend and girlfriend :) haha im gay Lie to me

i hate feeling disappointed... [12 Aug 2007|10:22pm] ...it's disappointing. hmmm, so i feel like a douchebag. a big bag of douche. people make me upset. Lie to me

[01 Aug 2007|12:08am] How Hot are You in Bed? Way above Average! You LOVE your sex, and have no shame in showing it in the sack! You can be rough or gentle, or both, and occasionally enjoy a gentle spankin', hair pull, or dirty talk. You're quite likely to keep your partner coming back! How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic</font> </div> Lie to me

[01 Aug 2007|12:04am] What Classic Bombshell Are You? Marilyn Monroe Always the goddess to draw every man's attention when you walk in the room, you have a difficult time understanding how to use that power, and when to tuck it away. There are many scheming, nasty men out there ready to use you no matter what kinds of promises they have to make, and it's your fault if you fall for it! Just because you want a good time doesn't mean you should get it, EVERY time! Although the aloof cigarette in one hand, and the martini in the other looks and feels just as sexy as you are, you'll be a hag or dead before you're 40 also! Tame your wild side, and the beautiful allure you have will vex the right man. How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic</font> </div> Lie to me

cuz im leaving on a jet plane... [30 Jul 2007|09:33am] [ mood | depressed ] ...dont know when ill be back again first chelsey left. now rich. my BEST friend in the whole world Rich. where's everyone going?? we're all growing up and getting old. moving away. making lives for ourselves. it scares the living shit out of me. :( Rich, you are the only person who has been there for me thru EVERYTHING. the most hard thing for me in life, you were there everyday. EVERYDAY. you've always been just a phone call away. and now you won't be. but if this is what makes you happy...im so happy for you. my heart is broken. it's hard losing your best friend. i know he's not gone forever, and we'll ALWAYS keep in touch i know it...but it's so hard saying goodbye. my face stings from crying. and my sunburn also has a lot to do with that. lol. richie, i love you my best friend...be safe, live life, and make all your dreams come true. just never lose touch and always visit. ahh im crying. good luck. 2 Told me I'm beautiful + Lie to me

[20 Jul 2007|11:03am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | placebo ] gosh im sleepy. not really sure why, prolly just because ive completely exhausted myself this week. i hate packing, i hate moving, i hate cleaning. lol. and i have to do all three. im still searching for that special someone. for some reason right now there are SO many options, and quite a few people who like me but im not even giving them a chance. because i know right away, theyre not what i truly want. i wont settle anymore and GROW to really like someone. i know what i want, and although i might never find it..i dont wanna settle and waste time WITH someone when i could just live my life free and have no attachments. i wanna settle down when i find the right person. until then, im going solo. BUUUTTT i really want that person now. :( i think my standards are too high. but when you've had AMAZING, you will always want AMAZING. Lie to me

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